1985

There's a song playing on the radio these days about a materialistic woman who must be about 39. She sounds to me like she was the average clueless high schooler who (for her time) thought that if you didn't know or like Wham or Whitesnakes, who were you? Now she's married to a CPA and her kids think she's "uncool."

Well, I didn't know who Whitesnakes were in 1985 and really didn't care. I was more interested in calculus and chemistry. But I also was a typically unfocused male in his late teens who could hardly finish a book.

I've had years of education. But my funnel was so small that I went through it all and caught only the smallest percent of what I've tried to study. After both my MA in classics and my PhD in New Testament, I felt like, "You know, I could really benefit from this program if I were to start it now." 10 years after writing a dissertation on Hebrews, I thought to myself the other day, "You know, I really am somewhat of a scholar on Hebrews."

A late bloomer... all my life I've been. But I think my body is young too, so maybe I'll live a little extra to catch up with some of the quick starts I've been around in my day.

Some might think I've accomplished a lot. I've had articles published in some impressive journals. I've had four books published. I've had Wesleyan significant people introduce me as one of the smartest Wesleyans in the denomination. I teach at a college a lot of Christians would like to get a job at.

But I know who I am, and I've been around the best. And I feel like I've done little with my life or potential.

We all know that no "I" really matters. It just doesn't feel that way.